Yesterday, I met my older son down at the University to give him some of his mail. It was kind of a downer day for him and me, so we had a good talk about relationships (his, not his parents, obviously), speculating what the certified letter waiting for him at the Post Office was all about, and goals.
Today, I got a bunch of texts from him - the certified letter was just his certified letter getting returned to him (phew - emailed my lawyer friend and she said "good!" too), and some other good kind of "everything is looking up" kind of news. I vividly remember being 19 being a roller coaster - one of the commiserations I shared with him yesterday. I definitely feel my kids' pain a lot more than is good for me. His relief makes me feel relieved and now I can concentrate on feeling really nervous - as if I were running the race today.
I have a classroom full of runners and volunteer course marshals. I jokingly told the boys that if they don't come in one of the top few spots, I am going to erase the "Congratulations" from the cake I bought them. The girls are chatting and quite a few of the boys are sacked out on the floor. I bought food for the course marshals (we had the PSAT today at school and most of them didn't go home) and told the runners to not eat it under any circumstances. Jalapeno and pepperoni breads are NOT good pre-race food.
It is a very hot and voggy day, unfortunately. The vog makes a cover over the island that holds in the heat. You cough and sneeze from the particulates in the air - during the PSAT, one of my students was sneezing and sneezing, poor guy.
I am torn because I really want to ask if I can be in the chute. It's a place everyone wants to be, so I feel bad for asking, but I have done just a lot this year, and they like to put me in the boonies where I can't see much of anything. I just want to see my kids finish their race. I don't want to put myself forward, though. My husband has seen the stress I put myself through as team mom (I am sure there are moms who can handle it with aplomb, but I am obviously not one of them - I hate bothering people or being bossy and I am an inveterate introvert). He thinks I should just say, "I want this, please!" I did tell the kid marshals to ask to be in the field because they tend to put the kids in the chute - and they are fine being out in the course.
Oh well, I will let you know how it all goes. My son wants to win his Open race (sadly, even placing 4th on his team last week didn't budge him from the 8th spot going into today). There are a couple of things that need to happen to allow him to compete in the State Championship next week. One is that the varsity team needs to place in the top 2 for the race. The other is that he needs to have a faster time than at least one of the Varsity boys (this is possible - but he'll have to scramble, because they are scrambling and he won't be in the same race as them for him to pace off them). It's possible they can get the number 2 spot, but it will be an effort. I think this is why I am so nervous. I want him to run next week, because he wants it so badly. It doesn't matter all that much, in the scheme of things, but still.... It's very likely that my daughter will make it because her team will make it, and I would like them to both make it.
This isn't very coherent, I know, but it is warm-up time. Wish us luck!
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