When a spouse wants to clean something major and needs your help - it's best to jump right in and not complain about the list you had for yourself lest you end up having to clean it by yourself at some later date.
Yesterday, that task was the kitchen - inside and outside (highly efficient, rather small fridge leftover from our off grid days) refrigerator/freezers and outside chest freezer - the whole thing - turning them off, defrosting the off-grid freezer, taking out the shelves and washing them all, wiping down all the surfaces, removing those sauces from the door that you can't remember buying - and the frozen ahi lump in the plastic bag at the very back of the freezer with the date "2005" on it (not sure how that was missed the last 7 times I have cleaned the freezer....).
I also weeded in the greenhouse, pulled five loads of laundry off the line and folded it and generally kept myself busy and not worrying.
Today, we drove all the way to Kona to go to Costco - one of those 10 lbs of cheese, four boxes of hot chocolate, 50 lbs of flour kind of Costco runs. Our freezers and cupboards and fridges were cleaned out and ready for new food. Bread flour (which I can find in bulk in Kona but not in Hilo) really does make a difference when I make bread. It was not raining in Kona (as usual) but it was really voggy. I couldn't even see Kohala mountains, much less Maui (which you can see on a clear day). I am glad I don't live in Kona - even they have more stores and more dry weather. It is all rocky lava and heat. It was nice to get home, even though it was apparently raining all day.
I go back to work tomorrow. I didn't get everything on my Spring Break list done, but enough so that I don't feel bad about leaving the big household chores until the end of May and enough so that I can get the outside garden stuff done in small batches on weekends. I also can call the doctor's office and see if there are any next steps to be done.
Two things helped put everything into perspective this weekend. One was talking to an very good friend about his wife's cancer (thankfully treated successfully and hitting the magic five year date this summer) and realizing that there are people I can talk to and looking into the eyes of a woman at church I have known for 16 years, and who helped me so much when we first moved here and my kids were so little. She was on the same airplane home from Honolulu and she was coming home with the diagnosis that I am hoping to avoid - only stomach cancer seems so much worse than breast cancer. A few days of waiting for what has an 80% chance of being nothing is no big deal. A'ole pilikia. I can do this.
And get my refrigerator so clean you'd swear it was brand new.