Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Tired of Me, Yet? I Am!

I have decided I need to stop thinking about everything - it is most likely going to be fine - and if it isn't, I will handle it then. 

Anyway, I went to do the biopsy yesterday, which was interesting, after I got over my sick childhood fear of needles.  The click, click, click of the "biopsy gun" (I was so helpfully informed of what those in the profession call it.) was a bit unnerving, but watching the procedure on the ultrasound monitor was pretty cool, actually.  Somehow that little black and white screen is a bit divorced from "you" so it was okay.  The tech was so carried away with my interest, he showed me the samples they took in their little jar of fluid!  And I am such a geek, I thought it was pretty interesting. 

After the procedure, I was so relieved that it was over (I was really scared of it, in spite of hearing from most people that it was nothing), that I felt pretty euphoric.  Then I went to my dad's place and hopped on the search engine - felt less confident after that, but realized I have to ration the search time and just wait.  So, I did some work on a garden unit I am working on with a math teacher for next year, and revised my scope and sequence for the final quarter, and generally just sat and hung around with my dad, which was really, really nice.  (Thanks, Dad!) 

I know I am not completely over the worry, even though on a surface level, I feel like I am, because when my husband was 10 minutes late to pick me up in the airport, I was practically in tears.  It was ridiculous and irritating, and I am glad that instead of fighting about it, my husband said, "That can't be the real reason you are upset - what's really wrong?" and took me out to eat ice cream.  That was pretty nice. 

On the farm front, Niele (Ellie, for short) looks a lot more due than she should.  I must have miscalculated.  She is standing away from the flock and complaining a lot.  Although she is usually a love bug, she won't let me near her, which makes it harder to check her hind end.  This is her first lambing, so I really want to keep an eye on her.  I hope she is a decent mother.  Her mother, Dodie, was a great mom, so I am crossing my fingers.  The triplets are growing - the little ram lamb is almost caught up in size to the big ewe lamb that was born (remember how one was normal sized, one small, and one teeny?).  The littlest ewe is still little, but she is the most active and playful and is growing well - she just started small.   

One of my favorite things is the evening feeding - watching the sheep come up over this rise in the pasture.  They little lambs popping like popcorn next to their moms.  I think they listen for the gates and the doors of the feed room - even though they are hundreds of feet away, behind trees, they are listening and ready to come running home.  Last week, the older sheep were playing - one of the wethers, Hulu, started pronging around everyone else and then lightly butting the other adult male sheep and running away.  Even Elvis got into the game - even at 250+lbs and with all his dignity as the patriarch of the flock - he started running around in circles and even hopped a few times.  Gave me a laugh.  


Chai Chai said...

Sometimes husbands can be pretty cool, and ice cream is some darn good medicine.

NancyDe said...

Chai Chai, it was even the good ice cream shop ice cream and not the cheap stuff we buy in tubs - so even better ;).

Chicago Transplant said...

Hi NancyDe,

I'm glad to hear that you're getting through things one day at a time. I'm still thinking good thoughts for you. If nothing else, it gives me another opportunity to practice compassion.

It strikes me that sometimes I'd rather be humane than human. It takes so little effort to be kind and even less effort to be civil.

Don't give a second thought to setting down your feelings in your blog.

All Best Wishes.

Chicago Transplant said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Deb said...

Good job, Nanc !

Great to hear you had a nice visit with your dad and a well deserved ice cream treat with your (tardy) hubby. He's lucky he didn't get a detention ;)

Lamb races/olympics are one of the many highlights of sharing your life with sheep. It's especially entertaining when the mature sheep join in.

I'll reply to your email tomorrow.
Take some time to rest up.


NancyDe said...

Thanks, Chicago Transplant....I know it's three months later, but how did your visit home go?

Thanks, Deb - and I agree!

tami said...

Nobody is tired of you yet. At some point or another we've either all "been there done that" or are learning from you what to expect when we go through any kind of a diagnosis experience.

I think it's great that you're willing to share your thoughts and observations, your fears and hopes.

Chicago Transplant said...

Hi NancyDe,

Maui was wonderful. I got to reconnect with some friends from high school at a baby shower.

I didn't get as much gardening done as I would have liked to because I was spending so much time at the family business doing inventory. We sell and repair small-engine equipment. There were tens of thousands of little, individual parts to be counted, but everybody pulled together, spent a lot of late days,and got it done. It was good to be able to spend time with my brother and sister on a project like that.

I put some sweet peas, carrots, kale and peanuts in the ground. (I'm most curious about the peanuts!) My sister sends me pictures and the fig trees are really starting to take off. I'll need to prune back some of the unruly branches in the summer.

It's always great to hear about your sheep! I hope the weather cooperates with your efforts at gardening.

I'll continue to think good thoughts for you. You do the same too.


NancyDe said...

CT: We're having a really wet year; I absolutely missed the opportunity for broccoli because what feels like almost continuous rain since October. I was wondering about peanuts, too. I would like to try them! Kale does well - all the brassicas do well where I am. It turns out that sheep LOVE kale - it was the first thing the buggers ate when they got through the fence. We put up hog wire, though, instead of just electric fence, and they can't get through anymore.

Pomaika`i said...

Welcome back home, and congratulations on your overcoming the fear of needles. I'm just hoping that you asked the KP folks if they ever heard of "No More Sleepless Nights" - but now the next step is done. Your hubby learned well - Lappert's = Love.
[just a hunch]
You could catch your frolicking flock on a you-tube video! I think the animals do dance for joy at springtime. I know I do! I grew up just 12 degrees north of the equator, but spring was definitely there, if one was observant. It's really clear to me here on Maui, too.
Keep your head high, set that compass on true North, and sail on.
If prayers were wind, your sails are full!

NancyDe said...

E Pomaika'i: Baskin Roberts - was night time! I don't actually own a functional video camera right now - I would love to have one by the time my son graduates, though - on the other hand, someone will post parts of the graduation on YouTube, for sure. I still watch my daughter's class (2010) on occasion. We haven't been having spring-like weather - just buckets of rain and cooler temperatures.